I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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