doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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