Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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