That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
