Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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