i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
