is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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