ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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