I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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