i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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