Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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