I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize