I just threw up on my dentist
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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