you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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