Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
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