Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
