Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
