Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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