Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
