You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
