So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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