I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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