I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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