I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
