South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
