READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
