Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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