I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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