I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
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i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
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Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
The air taste purple.
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