Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize