Just cropdusted the office
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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