Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
