Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
