i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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