I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
