Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
And then my night got REAL pukey
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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