just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
