He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
