dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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