He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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