Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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