Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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