Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
