Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
