I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
