ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
