You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
