woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
