He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
