Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
