would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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