he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You dont lie about slip and slides
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
