I feel like abortions should bother me more
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
In other news, I just burned my penis
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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