Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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