You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
