I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize